FORGOTTEN PAGES.

wasn’t exactly a child when I first read this book (I was 14), but I remember it well. It was this:

Published in 1980, The Language of Goldfish tells the story of Carrie Stokes, a 13-year-old math genius and talented artist. An eighth grader at a school for well-to-do students, Carrie faces the challenge of moving into her teens. To put it plainly, she can’t let go of her childhood. Carrie spends her days reminiscing about her childhood in Chicago and her friendship with another girl. To cope with the changes occurring in her life, she thinks about the days when she and her older sister would sit by the pond in their backyard and “call” the fish in it by whistling to them (hence, the book’s title). Carrie’s constant reminiscing doesn’t sit well with her wealthy parents, her physician father and socialite mother who live in a whirlwind of parties and other social activities, as well as her equally socially-active, popular sister. They push her to attend parties, school dances, and other boy-girl events. The pressure pushes Carrie even further into her childhood escapism and eventually, to a suicide attempt on the night of her parents’ cocktail party. Through sessions with her psychiatrist and the friendship with her art teacher, as well as the tincture of time, Carrie comes to terms with the realization that she is maturing and learns to let go of the past.

I was in the eighth grade (the same grade as Carrie Stokes) when I first found this book in my junior high school (or middle school, for my younger readers) library. I really liked it and later bought my own copy, which I still own and occasionally re-read. When I first read it, though, I was mad. Particularly, I was angry with the way Carrie’s family dealt with her problems, which was. . .not dealing with it at all. To me, all they (especially the mom) seemed to care about was having parties and living the good life. (I guess the reason I felt so strongly about it was because I come from a close family.) With their focus on social activities, they virtually dismissed Carrie’s problems—until her suicide attempt. As an adult now, I think it was pretty sad that it took a suicide attempt for Carrie’s family to finally pay attention to what was really going on with her.

I still like the book, but I now have a somewhat different viewpoint on the story. For the record, I still feel the same way about how Carrie’s family handled her psychological problems, but I also have a different perspective on Carrie. Having gone through and adapted to life’s changes myself, I believe that Carrie needs to realize some things: that life changes; that childhood friends move on and may even forget you; that it’s okay to like boys and want to impress them; and that you can be friends with a boy without anything romantic developing. Hopefully, there’s also been change on the part of Carrie’s family in that they realize they can’t turn Carrie into a social butterfly and accept her for the sensitive, introverted, and artistically-inclined person she is.

The Language of Goldfish is not so much about goldfish in a pond, of course; that’s a representation of the safe space of Carrie’s childhood. What it’s really about is the inevitability of change and the realization that, despite one’s anxieties and worries, it’s all going to be okay.